5 Tactics for Staying Up Past Your Bedtime
Bedtime is fast approaching (go on, check your clock).
Yes, sleep is important, but so is discovering what is on TV after dark, or reading another chapter of your book, or spying on your older sister . . . because we all have strong suspicions that our older sisters are actually aliens sent to make our lives miserable.
Here’s where this article becomes super useful. If you want to stay up past your bedtime then read on!
#1. Practicing Excuse
Your parents have got high hopes for you. They want you to achieve your dreams and become successful, taxpaying citizens – doctors, teachers, musicians, architects, sporting heroes and famous writers.
Well, all of those professions require you to do one thing over and over and over again – PRACTICE!
Starting practicing tonight. Doesn’t matter what it is as long as you see a glint in your parents eye that means ‘my son/daughter is going to become rich and famous one day’.
#2. Temperature Excuse
Joking aside, temperature is very important for healthy sleep (that’s why penguins always have black eyes and crocodiles are very snappy – they never get enough sleep in below freezing temperatures and scorching heat).
When you were a baby your parents would make sure your bedroom was between 65 – 70 °F (18 – 21°C) so that you didn’t keep them up all night crying. So now that you can talk you can let them when you’re shivering like an Eskimo and when you’re sweating like a pig.
They might not be as interested anymore, but it’ll certainly buy you some extra minutes on the Xbox.
#3. Storytime Excuse
You might be a little old for storytime, but stick with me on this one – we’re going to do some maths.
If you add all 7 Harry Potter books together there are 199 chapters. That’s a grand total of 3,407 pages. The average adults takes 2 minutes to read one page aloud, which means it would take around 4.7 days for your parents to read you the Harry Potter Series back to back!
I hope you all agree, that would be 4.7 days well spent. And even if you don’t make it to the end, every page read to you is another 2 minutes past your bedtime.
#4. Noise Excuse
There are plenty of noises to fake hear outside. Here are a few suggestions:
- The ice cream van
- An escaped convict from a maximum security prison
- The Tax Man (your parents worst nightmare)
- The cat who keeps on digging up your parents flowers
- The lottery representative knocking on the door with an oversized cheque and a bottle of champagne
#5. Counting Sheep Excuse
This is probably the most famous method to fall asleep.
As you can see it also has bags of potential for some hilarious bedtime theatre. If you’re family make a convincing flock of sheep you may even be able to take the show on tour entertaining child across the country (or you could just record it and post it on YouTube).
You can find 44 more excuses in my cartoon eBook – 49 Excuses for Staying Up Past Your Bedtime.
Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won’t help you stay up past your bedtime.