[Excuse for Not Mopping the Kitchen Floor]
[Excuse for Not Cleaning the Bathroom]
‘Cleaning’ is a dirty word, wouldn’t you agree?
We all dread those five parental words – “time to tidy your bedroom.” (I can tell reading that gave you the chills.)
But don’t despair, you’ve found help. It is my strong belief that you should have some ready-made excuses tucked away in your pocket at all times. So here you go, here are five golden nuggets taken from my FREE eBook – 49 Excuses to Not Tidying Your Bedroom.
Memorize them. Practise them on your goldfish. Try them the next time your parents say the dirty word.
Excuses #1. The Modern Artist Excuse
A modern artist called Tracey Emin did this.
In 1998 she rolled out of bed, stepped back and thought to herself ‘that looks pretty good’. A millionaire collector bought her messy bedroom she called ‘My Bed’ for £150,000 in 2000. Then 14 years later her bedroom was auctioned and sold for £2.2 million!
Imagine the bedroom you could buy with £2.2 million. Mine would include a monkey butler, a Ferrari remolded into a giant bed, and one of those hand-print scanners to stop unwanted adults entering.
Excuses #2. The Ultimate Question Excuse
Many have pondered the meaning of life, few have reached enlightenment.
According to ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ it took an enormous supercomputer named Deep Thought 7.5 million years. If you are wondering what it’s answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything . . . it was the number 42.
(Feel free to copy Deep Thought’s answer, most parents will find this highly amusing).
Excuses #3. The Delegation Excuse
The art of delegation is the bedrock of the workplace.
The boss decides what the company should be doing, who then tells the senior management team to get on with it. Then the senior management team make a master plan, who then tells the middle management team to get on with it. The middle management team scratch their heads, who mumble something to their team, then tells the kettle to get on with it. The office workers shrug their shoulders, nibble on a biscuit and the get to work (and in may case then goes home and write books.)
Master the art of delegation early in life and you’ll rise up the ladder in no time. I would suggest practising on your younger brother/sister first before moving on to an adult.
Excuse #4. The Infectious Excuse
Who here has ever had Chicken Pox?
And when you had those scratchy little spots did your parents ask you to tidy your bedroom? Or send you off to school? Or make you peel the carrots?
Excuse #5. The Military Coo Excuse
Okay, so this excuse is a little silly.
Come to think of it, this one isn’t even an excuse. Oh well. It’s too late now. At least if you try this one, especially if you give the toilet brush a good wave, your parents might ask you to clean the bathroom instead.
You can find 44 more excuses in my FREE cartoon eBook – 49 Excuses for Not Tidying Your Bedroom.
Disclaimer: reading this eBook will probably make you giggle, but won’t help you get away with having a messy bedroom.